Late Night Mind Overload

Well, since I was told that I should consider blogging my thoughts, I think it's a better idea that I should start back up. My first post in a long time was over the Olympics. Well today, I have a completely different topic to get off my mind. A lot of people would think about it and say; "Oh no, here we go again." however, this is different. So, maybe I can find the words to actually let everything out.

Last night, I've tried to go to sleep about three different times. Each of those times, however, were failed attempts. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't get my mind to slow down. Everything was going about a thousand miles and hour and wouldn't slow down for anything. So, I just turned on the music and let my mind wonder. And when I did, a million questions started to dash through my head. Some I could of answered, others remained a mystery to me because I haven't experienced it yet. But some, I had to really work to find and understand the answer I have came up with for that answer..

And I know, there are some of you who are asking the question; "What was you thinking about?" Well, I'm going to tell you. I hope you're interested in reading, because this will be a lengthy post today.

Okay, so I ended up thinking about the things that has happened in my life. Stuff from the past, present and future. I thought about my past and - quite honestly, I'm glad that some of the events happen, however, there are somethings that I don't want to relive. The reason being is that I'm the type that lets things go after i've learned from it. I did - in fact, relearn my mistakes and now have them in tact. Therefore, the things that have happened in my past, are the reason why I am the person today. I'm still learning, but that don't mean I'm a noobie at life.

Next came the present; this is where I like to call the stuff that's happened this year. And quite frankly, it started out really slow. I had a relationship at the start of the year. Though, we slowly grew a part and we decided to let things end and let it go. I was okay with that. Fast forward about seven months later, we hardly talk. When we do, however, you may as well consider that it's world war three between us. Although, I still care for her. I told her that, even though she has a boyfriend. Now I don't talk to her, and I now know that she dislikes me and things just aren't going to get any better with her.

In other news; a few months back, I've decided that I was going to attempt to lose weight. And so far. it's paid off. In nearly seven months, I've lost a total of 67 pounds, that's a lot of weight if you think about it. At first, I was really skeptical about it; really nervous, scared that I wouldn't be able to lose the weight, anything. Well, now that I'm here, back at my high school weight, and back in the gym like I was nearly four years ago, I feel better than ever. Now, I plan on not going back to my old self, not in a million years I won't be. I feel better here than I did six months ago and there's nothing going to stop me from pushing forward. As a physical education major, I would want to be a good role model or the kids, and being able to say that I've lost 67 pounds in under a years time is a big achievement for me. If I could do it, anyone can do it. So don't say tou can't because I will prove your wrong.

Now, for what the future holds for me? All I know, is that my heart is telling me to leave my hometown, my home state. To just go away from where I'm most comfortable. It's kinda scary now that I think about it, however, I feel that it might be the best thing for me. Because of several reasons. First of all, the fact that the people around my home town are just not what I thought they would be when I needed them. What I mean by this is that people in my home town have let me down. There are a few in my home town that I know that are still hear for me. Although, the people that I know are in my life is mainly family, however. there are a few people outside my family that do care and I'm very thankful for them. Although, my thought of possibly moving away may be the best thing for me to do. Because honestly, I need to be able to get out, spread my wings and experience life. The reason of this thought was from my instructor;

"Going away is the best way to learn, because you can learn new techniques and skills. These are what you want to have in your arsenal of teaching strategies." -Doctor Vanessa Anton

This is my main reason to why I want to leave. Although, the other reason is also a legit reason to why I want to get out of here. Most people call it a shit hole town, well I'm going to have to say it is a shit hole town, not because of the town itself. but the people that make up this town. I have my family and a few others that care. For now, it's undecided, because it's still a few years down the road before I decide on what I'm going to do.

A Thought on the Olympic Games

So, I watched the London 2012 Olympic Ceremonies last night. It was a really good show I think, however, it did not over come Beijing's Ceremony. Not one bit. Although, I do think that the story of London as the opening ceremonies theme was interesting and very eye opening. A lot of things that I did not know about up until today. But that's beside the point.

The opening ceremonies always give me the goose bumps, no matter how many times I watch them; no matter where they are from, they always do. The opening speeches also give me goose bumps, just hearing them makes me get excited for the games. What really gives me goose bumps is when the U.S. and Great Britain was announced in the "Parade of Nations". I often wondered what it would be like to be there. It's sort of a dream that I've had for a long time. However, the events that I would try to compete in would be events that are dominated by the greatest athletes America has. Pro athletes, college stars, athletes that's been playing that sport for years. 

I know there's a saying that "Giving up on what you want, should never be an option." Although, that dream would have to be left alone. You know the Pro Athletes in Baseball, Basketball, and other sports that have pro leagues, will get first bids. Track and Field are ones you have to qualify for. So is swimming and Diving and other sports. And we all know that if America Football was an Olympic sport, the best of the best American players would be picked. 

So, My dream of seeing the Olympics - whether as a spectator or an athlete, have been laid to rest. It'll remain a dream of mine. However, living it is a totally different story. For the fact that it's all based around professional athletes, instead of the non professional athletes. Ones that would do anything to make the team.

There's also been news that was just spoken about that Tulsa being a host city for the Summer Olympic games. Tahlequah, Stillwater and Oklahoma City will be surrounding cities that will host Olympic Competitions. This, in my opinion would be a huge step for Oklahoma. Although, my statement before, I would do anything to compete in the games. Although, it won't happen for the fact the games would go to the Professionals.. However, being able to run with the Olympic torch through the city I've been around all my life would be amazing.

In conclusion, I would do anything to be apart of the Olympic games. But the sports go to the Professionals instead of the people who dream of it and never get the chance to shine for their own country..